Should Siblings Ever Have Different Parenting Schedules?~ 3 min read

• Siblings do not always need identical parenting schedules.
• A child’s age, activities, developmental needs, and relationship with each parent may affect the schedule that works best.
• Special needs, mental health needs, or conflict between siblings may support different schedules.
• You may also want to build one-on-one time with each child into your parenting schedule.
• The goal is to create a parenting schedule that supports each child while preserving meaningful relationships with both parents.

Your Children May Have Different Needs

When you create a parenting schedule after divorce, you may assume your children should all follow the exact same schedule. In some families, that works well, but your children may have different needs that make separate schedules a better choice.

Consider a family with a 1-year-old and a 16-year-old. Their daily routines, activities, school schedules, and developmental needs are completely different. A schedule that works well for your teenager may not make sense for your toddler.

Age and Activities Matter

Your children’s ages will affect how you structure parenting time. An older child may have sports, school activities, jobs, or social commitments that make a traditional schedule difficult.

Your child’s activities could also mean that a different schedule works better for that child. If one child has a particularly demanding schedule, you may need to create parenting time around those commitments rather than forcing every child into the same routine.

Special Needs May Require a Different Schedule

Your child may also have medical, developmental, mental health, or special needs that require a more specific routine. For example, a child with autism may function better with a consistent schedule designed around that child’s individual needs. You could also have a child who needs significantly more attention from a parent. If one parent is better equipped to meet those needs, the parenting schedule may need to reflect that reality. The goal is not to treat your children differently.

Sometimes Siblings Need Time Apart

There are also situations where siblings simply do better with some separation. If your children have significant conflict with each other, spending too much time together may create physical or emotional problems.

You will create separate parenting schedules while still giving siblings opportunities to spend time together. As their relationship improves, you will adjust the schedule and increase their time together.

Give Each Child One-On-One Time

Your parenting schedule does not have to focus only on where everyone sleeps. You will also build regular one-on-one time between each parent and each child into the schedule.

For example, you may arrange a dinner once or twice a month where one parent spends time alone with one child. This gives your child individual attention and creates opportunities for conversations and connections that are harder to find when everyone is together.

Focus on What Your Children Need

A parenting schedule should reflect your family rather than simply following a standard formula. If your children are different ages, needs, schedules, or relationships, you will need to consider different arrangements for each child. The goal is to give each child meaningful time with both parents while recognizing what each child needs to feel secure, supported, and connected to your family.

Contact Family Ally

Creating a parenting schedule involves more than deciding how your children will divide their time between you and your spouse. At Family Ally, we help you consider your children’s individual needs and develop solutions that support your family after divorce. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

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