Why Marriages Fail~ 3 min read

Many marriages break down because communication slowly fades or never fully develops in the first place. When couples stop sharing information, expectations, and concerns about money, children, and decision making, problems tend to grow beneath the surface until they become impossible to ignore.

Communication Is Often the Root Issue

The most common reason marriages fail is lack of communication. This does not only mean arguments or raised voices. It often means information is not shared at all. Conversations about finances, parenting, expectations, and long-term plans either never happen or stop happening over time.

When communication breaks down, misunderstandings follow. One spouse may feel shut out of financial decisions. Another may not know where accounts are held or how debts are managed. What may appear to be control often comes down to one person not being included in important conversations.

Money and Parenting Expose Communication Gaps

Money and children tend to reveal communication problems quickly. Couples may avoid talking about spending habits, saving goals, or debt until conflict arises. Parenting decisions can create similar strain when expectations are never clearly discussed.

Questions such as how money will be spent, whether purchases need to be discussed, or how children will be disciplined are often assumed rather than agreed upon. Over time, those assumptions can create resentment when each spouse realizes they were not on the same page.

Important Conversations Often Happen Too Late

Many of the conversations that could support a marriage happen after problems are already well established. Topics such as finances, debt, parenting roles, religious upbringing, and long-term goals are often assumed rather than discussed. When those assumptions turn out to be different, resentment and confusion can follow.

Premarital agreements create a structured way to have these conversations early. They encourage both people to be open about assets, debts, and financial responsibilities before marriage begins. This openness helps prevent surprises later and allows couples to understand what each person is bringing into the relationship.

They also help you understand how marriage changes your legal and financial rights. Getting married automatically brings legal rules that affect property, inheritance, taxes, and future assets. Many people do not learn about these rules until a marriage is ending. Learning about them early allows couples to make informed decisions instead of reacting later.

Communication Can Still Be Rebuilt

If communication has already broken down, it is not always too late to improve it. Many couples benefit from working with a therapist, family counselor, or mediator who can help guide difficult conversations in a more productive way.

Some couples also choose to formalize expectations through a postmarital agreement. This can be done through mediation or the collaborative process and may include support from attorneys, financial advisors, and a mental health coach. Having clear terms in writing can reduce misunderstandings and provide structure for ongoing communication.

Whether through counseling, mediation, or a collaborative approach, rebuilding communication helps both spouses feel informed and involved. That foundation supports healthier decision making and can reduce future conflict, regardless of whether the marriage continues or moves toward divorce.

Contact Family Ally

If you are considering divorce or need help understanding your options, the team at Family Ally is here to provide steady guidance. They focus on practical solutions that support informed decision making for you and your family. To schedule a consultation, contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 or reach out online.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is lack of communication always obvious in a failing marriage?
No. It often shows up quietly through avoidance or unspoken expectations rather than frequent arguments.

Can financial secrecy damage a marriage?
Yes. Not sharing information about accounts, debt, or spending can create mistrust and resentment.

Are premarital agreements only for wealthy couples?
No. They can be useful for starting important conversations regardless of income or assets.

Can communication improve later in marriage?
Yes. With professional support, many couples are able to rebuild healthier communication habits.