Why Fighting in Divorce is the Wrong Approach~ 3 min read

It’s natural to feel frustrated during a divorce but turning it into a fight can lead to more challenges down the road. Disagreements and tensions are part of the process, but escalating them into a battle can waste time, money, and energy. Rather than focusing on fighting, it’s more productive to find ways to resolve issues calmly and fairly. This approach not only helps you move forward more quickly but also creates a better environment for you and your family.

It Drains Your Resources

Divorce litigation is expensive. The longer you fight in court, the more money you’ll spend on lawyers, court fees, and other costs. This money could be better spent on things that truly matter, like your children’s education, your future retirement, or even just moving on with your life. Legal battles take time, and that time is often filled with uncertainty and stress. Rather than getting wrapped up in battles that will only bring frustration, it’s better to focus on your future and what really matters to you.

You Lose Control

When you choose to fight in court, you give up control over your future. A judge will make decisions for you, often based on limited information. You might get a ruling months after your hearing, leaving you in limbo for an extended period. You won’t know how things will end up, which can leave you feeling stuck. Fighting just increases the unknowns in your life. It’s hard to move forward when you’re constantly waiting for a judgment that you have little say in.

It Hurts Your Family

The stress of a drawn-out divorce doesn’t just affect you—it affects your kids and extended family too. Children, in particular, feel the tension, even if you think you’re shielding them. They may not understand what’s happening, but they’ll sense the stress. Fighting can destroy any remaining trust between you and your spouse, making it harder to co-parent effectively in the future. The negative impact on your relationship with your ex will last much longer than the divorce itself.

Alternative Solutions

Instead of fighting, consider other methods like Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. These options allow you to work together with your spouse, along with your lawyers and other professionals, to reach a solution that benefits everyone. It may seem like an upfront investment, but in the long run, it can save you money and emotional stress. You have more control over the outcome and can find creative solutions that are better for your family’s future.

Moving On

Choosing to fight through a divorce can leave emotional scars that last long after the process is over. On the other hand, when you resolve your divorce amicably, it helps you move on faster and start rebuilding your life. If you’re able to maintain a respectful relationship with your ex, even if it’s just for the sake of your children, you’ll find it easier to heal and move forward. Remember, you’ll continue to interact with your ex for years to come, whether it’s at graduations, birthdays, weddings, or family events. Having a positive relationship now can make all those future moments much easier and less stressful for everyone involved.

Contact Family Ally

If you’re ready to explore a less combative, more peaceful approach to your divorce, Family Ally is here to help. We can guide you through the Mediation or Collaborative Divorce process, helping you find solutions that work for you and your family. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.