6 Steps in the Collaborative Divorce Process~ 4 min read

In a Collaborative Divorce, you and your spouse choose a team of divorce professionals to help you resolve your divorce privately and respectfully. You each hire your own collaboratively trained attorney, select a divorce coach, a financial professional and child specialist if needed. You meet as a team to address parenting, finances, and any urgent concerns. When you reach a final agreement, the documents are drafted, reviewed, signed and then filed with the court for final approval.

Step 1: Choose a Collaborative Attorney

The first step in a Collaborative Divorce is finding a Collaborative Divorce attorney you feel comfortable with and want to work with.

If your spouse already has a collaborative attorney, the two attorneys will begin talking about how the Collaborative Divorce process will proceed. If your spouse does not yet have a Collaborative Divorce attorney, the next step is for them to speak to one and decide whether they are willing to proceed this way.

Once you both agree to use Collaborative Divorce, the process moves forward as a team effort.

Step 2: The Team Is Formed

After you retain collaborative attorneys, the next step is building a professional team. The attorneys will discuss which neutral divorce coach will work with you. In some situations, the divorce coach may bring the case to the attorneys. In others, the attorneys recommend divorce coaches and help you choose one.

The team will select a neutral  financial specialist to address the money issues in the case including property division and retirement accounts.  If you have children, there may be reasons to bring a child specialist into the case to help with parenting concerns. The exact team depends on your family’s needs, including issues like child custody or spousal support.

Step 3: The First Team Meeting and Participation Agreement

Once the team is selected, you, your spouse, the attorneys, and the neutral professionals meet for the first time.

At this meeting, everyone reviews the Participation Agreement. This document explains how the Collaborative Divorce process works and confirms that you both agree to resolve the case without going to court.

You and the team will sign the Participation Agreement once all questions are answered. The team will also identify the main issues, discuss any urgent concerns, next steps, and decide what information or documents need to be exchanged.

Step 4: Individual Meetings with Specialists

You will meet with the financial specialist, and child specialist if part of your team, to address the relevant issues.

You will meet with the financial specialist to review assets, debts, income, and budgets, or with the child specialist to talk about your children’s needs and parenting schedules. These meetings can take place without the attorneys present, but your attorney stays informed and will continue advising you throughout the process.

Step 5: Team Meetings to Resolve Issues

You and your spouse will attend a series of team meetings to work through the issues in your case. Some meetings focus on parenting matters, while others focus on financial issues. The number of meetings depends on your family’s needs. Some cases resolve in a few meetings, while others take more time. If necessary, you may also create temporary agreements for parenting schedules or financial arrangements while the process continues.

Step 6: Final Agreements, Signing, and Filing

Once you reach a final agreement that everyone supports, the team schedules the final signing meeting. Before that meeting, the attorneys prepare the marital settlement agreement and the final judgment documents. The coach or child specialist often prepares the first draft of the parenting plan, which is then reviewed and finalized with the attorneys and both spouses.

At the signing meeting, everyone in the case will meet to review and sign all documents at the same time. There may be a few last details to address, but by this stage, the major issues have been resolved.

Once all documents are signed and any final tasks are completed, the agreements are filed with the court. If the case was not previously opened, there is generally a 30-day waiting period before the judge signs the final decree. If the case was already open, that waiting period may have already passed. Filing typically occurs once everything is in place so the court can formally finalize your Collaborative Divorce.

Contact Family Ally

If you are considering divorce or need help understanding your options, our team at Family Ally provides steady and thoughtful guidance. We focus on practical solutions that help you make informed decisions for yourself and your family. To schedule a consultation, contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 or contact us online.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How long does a Collaborative Divorce take?
The timeline depends on your family’s needs and how many issues must be resolved. Some cases finish in a few meetings, while others take longer.

2. Do you both have to agree to use Collaborative Divorce?
Yes. You and your spouse must both agree to the Collaborative Divorce process and sign the Participation Agreement.

3. What happens if you cannot reach an agreement?
If the Collaborative Divorce process ends without a full agreement, both attorneys withdraw, and you each hire new attorneys to proceed with the matter in court. This encourages everyone to stay committed to settlement.