Prenups: More Than Planning for a Divorce~ 4 min read

A prenuptial agreement is not about planning for divorce. It is about planning for your marriage. When done thoughtfully and collaboratively, a prenup creates a space before your marriage for honest conversations about money, family, expectations, and long-term goals that can strengthen your relationship from the start.

Prenups Are Really About Marriage Planning

Many people hear the word prenup and immediately think about divorce. In reality, a prenuptial agreement is a tool for marriage planning. It gives you and your partner a structured way to talk about important topics before you get married, when emotions are steady and communication is easier.

Rather than leaving these potential issues to be sorted out later during conflict, a prenuptial conversation allows you to talk through them early. Planning that will reduce misunderstandings and help avoid disputes down the road.

Talking About Money Before You Say I Do

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriages. A prenuptial agreement opens the door for conversations that many couples never fully have. You can talk about how you view spending, saving, debt, and large purchases. What feels like a reasonable expense to one person may feel very different to the other.

A prenuptial agreement encourages full financial disclosure. Being open about assets and debts that are being brought into your marriage helps prevent surprises later. When both of you understand what the other owns and what they owe, it sets realistic expectations and builds trust.

Planning for Children and Family Life

The prenup process will also prompt conversations about children that some couples never discuss until much later. You may talk about whether you want children, how finances might work if one parent stays home or works part time, and how expenses related to children will be handled.

These discussions help align expectations and can reduce future tension. They give you a clearer understanding of how the law generally treats these issues, which many people do not fully understand before marriage.

Prenups for Later in Life Marriages

For couples getting married later in life, a prenuptial agreement serves a different purpose. You may have children from prior relationships, established financial habits, or assets you want handled in specific ways. A prenup allows you to talk through how money will be used during the marriage and where it may go in the future.

These conversations can include retirement expectations and lifestyle choices. One partner may want to retire earlier and travel, while the other plans to keep working. Talking about those differences ahead of time sets expectations, allows for financial planning, and reduces future tension.

Later in life planning may also include discussions about future care. You can talk about whether you hope to remain in your home, how care expenses might be handled, and whether planning for long term care should be part of the process. Addressing these topics early helps you both to move forward with shared understanding.

Using the Collaborative Process for a Prenuptial Agreement

How a prenup is created matters. A traditional, one-sided process can feel threatening and create resentment. A collaborative prenup focuses on shared goals and interest-based discussions. Each person has legal support, but the professionals work together to create an agreement that supports the marriage.

This type of process tends to result in agreements that feel fair, are easier to live with, and are more likely to be respected in the future.

Contact Family Ally

If you are recently engaged and want to learn more about prenuptial agreements, the team at Family Ally can help. We focus on thoughtful planning and collaborative solutions that support informed decision making. To schedule a consultation, contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 or contact us online.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is a prenuptial agreement only about divorce?
No. A prenup is a planning tool that helps couples discuss finances, expectations, and future goals before marriage.

Can a prenup help reduce future conflict?
Yes. Talking through money, debt, and family plans early can prevent misunderstandings later in the marriage.

What makes a collaborative prenup different?
A collaborative prenup is created with shared goals in mind, focusing on fairness and cooperation rather than one-sided demands.