Can Mediation Work If We Disagree on Everything?~ 3 min read

Mediation can work for you and your spouse or co-parent, even if you disagree on everything, as long as you are willing to listen to each other, to the neutral third party, and to consider different ways to solve your issues. If you go into Mediation saying, “We disagree and I will not consider anything else,” you probably will not reach an agreement. But if you and your spouse or co-parent enter the process ready to listen to each other, to the mediator, and to trusted advisors, and are willing to talk about solutions together, Mediation will work for you.

How Mediation Works

In Mediation, a trained neutral third-party helps you and your spouse or co-parent talk through your differences and work toward solutions you both agree on. The mediator does not make decisions for you. Instead, they help you find common ground and look at ways to solve your issues that neither of you may have thought about before.

One of the biggest strengths of Mediation is that you and your spouse or co-parent are in control of the decisions you make. You create your own agreements instead of leaving your future in the hands of a judge.

Why Mediation Will Work Even with Disagreement

When you start out, it may feel like there are only two choices. But once you talk about your goals, priorities, and reasons for what you want, you may uncover entirely new options that meet both of your needs. Mediation gives you the space and time to talk through what matters most for each of you and it will help you see options you had not realized existed.

You Will Be Guided Toward Better Solutions

A skilled mediator will help you think through different possibilities by:

• Asking questions that clarify what you really want
• Suggesting ideas, you might not have considered
• Helping you brainstorm ways to meet each other’s goals

In Mediation, you can be more creative than the court because judges are limited by what the law allows. In Mediation, you design solutions that fit your family’s situation.

Talking About Goals Leads to New Agreements

Once you start explaining why you want something, the process changes. This is when real problem solving happens. You may find solutions that satisfy both of you that you never knew were possible.

When you have children, Mediation also helps you to talk about how you want to share parenting time, decision making, schedules, and responsibilities in a way that reflects your family’s needs.

What You Both Will Gain

Here is what Mediation makes possible:

• You save time and money compared to litigating in court.
• You stay in control of your decisions instead of leaving them to a judge.
• You keep discussions private rather than making your personal matters part of the public record.
• You create solutions tailored to your family instead of one-size-fits-all orders.

All of this means that even if you and your spouse or co-parent think that you disagree about everything at the start, Mediation can help you find a way forward that makes sense for both of you.

Contact Family Ally

If you are considering or going through divorce and want to explore Mediation as an option, contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation. 

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

FAQs

1) Does Mediation work if my spouse or co-parent refuses to budge?
Yes. If you and your spouse or co-parent are willing to listen and talk, Mediation will help you explore a range of options, even when one of you feels immovable at first.

2) Does Mediation help with parenting and custody discussions?
Yes. With children, Mediation gives you a framework to talk about how you will share parenting time, decision making, and care responsibilities in ways that fit your family’s needs rather than what a judge might order.

3) Does Mediation take longer than going to court?
No. Mediation usually moves much faster than litigation because you and your spouse or co-parent work directly on solutions instead of waiting for court dates and rulings.