Can a Parenting Plan Address Cell Phones, Social Media, and Screen Time?~ 4 min read

• You and your spouse may agree to rules concerning cell phones, social media, and screen time and include some of those terms in your parenting plan.
• Parents generally have more flexibility to work out detailed technology rules together than to ask a judge to decide them.
• Parenting Coordination, Mediation, or Collaborative Divorce may help parents address detailed technology concerns.
• Rules should be realistic because detailed restrictions on your child’s technology use could be difficult to enforce.
• Missouri courts have limits on ordering a parent to pay certain expenses, including a child’s cell phone.

Technology Has Become a Parenting Issue

Cell phones, tablets, social media, gaming, and YouTube are part of everyday life for many children. After divorce, different household rules about when your child gets a phone, which apps are permitted, or how much screen time is acceptable, could become a source of disagreement.

A parenting plan addresses many decisions concerning your children, but technology creates a unique issue. The more detailed the rules become, the harder they may be for a court to manage and enforce.

Will a Judge Set Screen Time Rules?

If you have a contested case, a judge is unlikely to create detailed instructions about how many hours your child spends online, or which social media platforms are acceptable. A court might address a broader question, such as if a child should have access to a phone, but minute-by-minute technology rules are another matter.

A Parenting Coordinator may able to address detailed rules about cell phones, social media, and screen time because courts generally are not designed to manage those day-to-day details.  Even then, it is very difficult to ensure they are being followed and enforced in each household.

That does not mean you and your spouse cannot create your own expectations. If you reach an agreement, you have much more flexibility to decide what makes sense for your child and your households.

Working Together on Technology Rules

You and your spouse could discuss when your child gets a cell phone, when devices are put away at night, social media access, parental monitoring, and reasonable screen time.

The more detailed the technology issues become, the more helpful it may be to involve a neutral third party. Parenting Coordination, Mediation, or Collaborative Divorce may provide an opportunity to work through these details rather than asking a judge to decide them.

Think About Enforcement Before Adding Details

A rule might sound reasonable on paper but become impractical in everyday life. It is very hard to prove exactly how long a child used a device at the other parent’s home or if every agreed restriction was followed.

For that reason, education, and communication sometimes accomplish more than extremely detailed restrictions. The goal is to create rules that protect your child while recognizing how technology fits into school, friendships, entertainment, and communication with each parent.

Who Pays for Your Child’s Cell Phone?

Payment presents a separate question. In a contested case, a Missouri judge cannot order a parent to pay for a child’s cell phone. You and your spouse may still reach your own agreements about who pays for the phone and monthly service, and who has access to the account.

Contact Family Ally

If cell phones, social media, screen time, or other parenting decisions are creating disagreements between you and your spouse, Family Ally can help you work toward practical solutions for your family. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 or contact us online to schedule a consultation.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.

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