Expensive divorce custody case

Your Fear Can Make Your Divorce or Custody Case More Expensive~ 3 min read

Divorce and Custody cases have lots of emotions and uncertainties. One of the most significant factors that can unintentionally increase the cost of your divorce or custody case is fear. When you act out of fear, your reactions can become irrational, leading to unnecessary conflicts and complications. Understanding how fear influences your behavior during a divorce or custody case can help you manage your emotions better and potentially save you a significant amount of money.

How Fear Influences Divorce or Custody Case Costs

When fear takes over, you might find yourself acting impulsively or making decisions that are not in your or your children’s best interest. Here’s how fear can manifest and escalate the cost of your divorce or custody case:

  1. Frequent Calls to Your Attorney: In times of anxiety, you might find yourself calling your attorney repeatedly, asking the same questions over again, or seeking reassurance. Each call adds to your billable hours. While your attorney is there to help, their time is expensive. Instead of using your attorney as a therapist, consider finding other support systems.
  2. Escalating Conflict: Fear often leads to anger and frustration. This can result in heated arguments with your spouse or partner, both in private and in front of your children. These conflicts can lead to more legal motions and court hearings, each adding to the overall cost of your divorce.
  3. Irrational Financial Fears: Worrying excessively about money can cause you to argue over insignificant financial matters. This not only prolongs negotiations but also incurs additional legal fees. Understanding your financial situation clearly can help mitigate these fears.
  4. Not Following Legal Advice: Acting out of fear can lead you to ignore your attorney’s advice. For instance, if your attorney suggests a particular course of action that you are too scared to follow, it can result in more complications and, consequently, higher costs.

How to Manage Your Fear to Save Divorce or Custody Case Costs

The key to keeping your divorce or custody case costs down is managing your fear and anxiety. Here are some practical steps to help you stay calm and rational throughout the process:

  1. Seek Professional Help: Consulting a therapist can provide you with strategies to manage your anxiety and fear. A therapist’s hourly rate is much lower than an attorney’s rate, and they are better equipped to help you with emotional issues.
  2. Develop a Support System: Lean on friends and family for emotional support. Sharing your fears and anxieties with loved ones can help you feel less isolated and more in control.
  3. Educate Yourself: Understanding the divorce or custody process and your financial situation can alleviate many fears. Knowledge is empowering and can help you make more informed decisions.
  4. Focus on the Bigger Picture: Try to keep the long-term perspective in mind. Getting caught up in minor disputes can drain your resources and energy. Focus on what truly matters for your future and your children’s well-being.
  5. Communication and Mediation: Engage in open communication with your spouse and consider mediation. A mediator can help both parties come to a mutual agreement, reducing the need for prolonged legal battles.

Collaborative Divorce and Mediation are approaches to consider. They are designed to minimize conflict and reduce costs. These methods encourage cooperation and mutual respect, focusing on reaching amicable agreements rather than engaging in adversarial proceedings.

  • Cost-Effective: These methods are generally less expensive than traditional litigation.
  • Time-Saving: By reducing the number of court appearances and legal motions, the process is quicker.
  • Less Stressful: The focus on collaboration and open communication helps reduce emotional stress.
  • Child-Friendly: Minimizing conflict is beneficial for children, shielding them from the negative impact of parental disputes.

Contact Family Ally

Managing your fears and choosing Collaborative Divorce or Mediation can make a significant difference in your divorce experience. Let Family Ally guide you toward a better, less costly resolution.

If you have questions or need legal assistance regarding divorce or any other family law matter, please contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation. 

Jennifer Piper

Jennifer R. Piper is a family law attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator with more than 20 years of experience serving families in the St. Louis area. She is certified as a Guardian ad Litem and frequently appointed by courts to represent children in high-conflict cases. Jennifer is a former Chair of the Family and Juvenile Law Section of the Bar Association of Metropolitan St. Louis and an active leader in local and state bar organizations.
Her professional recognition includes being named to The Best Lawyers in America® (2017–2025), Missouri Super Lawyers (2021–2024), and receiving a Women’s Justice Award from Missouri Lawyers Weekly. Jennifer also holds an AV Preeminent rating from Martindale-Hubbell. She regularly speaks on family law topics and has helped shape family court procedures through her service on multiple committees.

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