What Does a Parenting Coordinator Do in a High-Conflict Divorce?~ 3 min read
In a high-conflict divorce, emotions run high which can make co-parenting extremely difficult. You might feel that you are constantly arguing with your ex-spouse over decisions related to your children with little room for compromise. In situations like this, a parenting coordinator helps you manage disputes and make decisions that benefit your children’s well-being.
What is a Parenting Coordinator?
A parenting coordinator is a neutral third party who steps in to help you and your ex to resolve parenting conflicts. Their main job is to guide both of you toward agreements on important matters, whether it is about medical decisions, extracurricular activities, or scheduling issues. If you cannot reach a consensus, the parenting coordinator has the authority, with prior approval, to make decisions for you.
This role is similar to a mediator, but the parenting coordinator can go beyond just facilitating conversations. In some cases, they can make binding decisions quickly, especially when a decision is urgent, such as medical care for your child. This is a significant advantage over going to court, which could take months to resolve.
When Can a Parenting Coordinator Help?
A parenting coordinator is useful in many situations, especially when time-sensitive decisions are needed. For example, if your child has an upcoming special event or a medical emergency, the parenting coordinator can help make those decisions quickly, often within days, instead of waiting for a lengthy court process.
They can also assist with less urgent matters like deciding whether your child can participate in extracurricular activities or interpreting parts of your custody agreement when there is a disagreement. While they can’t change your child support or long-term custody schedule, they can help with one-time schedule changes for special events or disputes.
Benefits of Having a Parenting Coordinator
One of the biggest advantages of having a parenting coordinator in a high-conflict divorce is that they can reduce the stress and tension between you and your co-parent. By acting as a mediator and decision-maker, they help to avoid constant arguments over small details and make decisions that are made in the best interest of your child.
In some cases, a parenting coordinator may help improve your communication skills, allowing you and your ex-spouse to better understand each other’s perspectives. Over time, this could lead to fewer conflicts and the possibility of eventually not needing the parenting coordinator’s help at all.
Do High-Conflict Couples Always Need a Parenting Coordinator?
The goal of working with a parenting coordinator is to help you and your ex-spouse improve your ability to co-parent effectively, which may reduce the need for ongoing intervention. While not every couple will reach a point where they no longer need the parenting coordinator, some do. Over time, with enough coaching and guidance, you may find that you can resolve issues on your own and make decisions in a more collaborative way.
Contact Family Ally
If you’re struggling to co-parent and conflicts are making it hard to make decisions for your child, a parenting coordinator may be the solution you need. At Family Ally, we understand the challenges of high-conflict divorces and are here to help you create a smoother path forward. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation.
Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.
