What About the House?~ 4 min read
When going through a divorce, one of the biggest questions you may face is, “What happens to the house?” Whether you’re worried about immediate decisions or long-term outcomes, the family home carries emotional and financial weight. Understanding your options can help you make informed choices.
Who Pays the Mortgage During the Divorce?
One of the first questions to address is how to manage the mortgage while your divorce is pending. If both of you remain in the home, will you split the mortgage payments? If one person moves out, will they still contribute? Failing to plan for these costs can lead to missed payments, damaged credit, and even foreclosure.
It can be helpful to reach a temporary agreement about mortgage and utility payments. If you and your spouse can work this out through discussion or mediation, you maintain more control over the outcome. Otherwise, the court may decide, and you could face unexpected consequences like being required to leave the home on short notice.
What Happens to the Belongings Inside the House?
Deciding how to divide personal belongings inside the home is another important step. If you or your spouse leave the house without an agreement, it can be difficult to determine who owns what. Agreeing on how to handle furniture, electronics, and other possessions can prevent future disputes. Without a clear plan, the court may step in and make decisions for you, which can be time-consuming and expensive.
Should You Stay or Move Out?
Deciding who stays in the home is another key issue. Are you both staying while the divorce is pending, or is someone moving out? Sometimes, couples choose “nesting,” where the children stay in the home while the parents rotate in and out. Other times, one person moves out permanently.
If you leave the home without an agreement, it can create complications. For example, if mortgage payments stop, it may harm both parties’ credit. You might also risk losing any claim to equity if ownership questions aren’t clearly defined. Temporary court orders can address these issues, but they take time and can be costly.
Can You Afford to Keep the House?
Many people want to keep the house for emotional reasons, even if it doesn’t make financial sense. If you want to keep the home, you may need to refinance the mortgage in your name. This can be challenging if your income or credit isn’t strong enough.
It’s smart to investigate your ability to refinance early in the process. Courts are unlikely to award the home to someone who can’t afford it. If refinancing isn’t possible and you are unable to come to an agreement or cooperate as to the sale of the house, the court may appoint a real estate commissioner, who is an attorney that you pay, to come in and sell the home, which adds extra expenses.
Additionally, today’s higher interest rates can make refinancing even more expensive. If you currently have a low-interest mortgage, refinancing at a higher rate could significantly increase your monthly payment. Even if there is little or no equity in the home, any existing equity may still need to be accounted for—whether through refinancing or offsetting it with other assets. If the mortgage is in both names, refinancing is usually required to separate financial responsibility, which will likely increase your monthly payment due to the higher interest rates. Understanding these factors early can help you plan effectively and make informed decisions.
What Happens If Someone Moves Out?
If one spouse moves out, you should clarify how equity will be handled. Will the departing spouse still receive a share of the home’s value? Who is responsible for upkeep and mortgage payments? Without a clear agreement, the person who stays may struggle with the financial burden while the person who leaves risks losing their financial interest.
Temporary court orders can protect both parties, but these hearings take time and money. In the meantime, unpaid bills can create serious problems for both of you.
Collaborative Divorce Can Help
In a Collaborative Divorce, you can work with a financial professional to explore your options. This neutral expert can help you decide how to manage bills during the process and guide you through decisions about refinancing, selling, or other solutions. By working together, you can reduce conflict and protect your financial future.
Protect Your Financial Future
The fate of your home during a divorce involves both short-term decisions and long-term planning. By having open discussions and seeking professional guidance, you can avoid many common pitfalls. Whether you want to stay in the home or sell it, understanding your options early helps you make choices that support your future.
Contact Family Ally
At Family Ally, we understand how important your home is to you. Our team is here to help you make sense of the financial and emotional decisions involved in your divorce. If you’re facing questions about your marital home, contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation. We’ll work with you to find solutions that protect your interests and your future.
Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.
Jennifer R. Piper is a family law attorney, mediator, and parenting coordinator with more than 20 years of experience serving families in the St. Louis area. She is certified as a Guardian ad Litem and frequently appointed by courts to represent children in high-conflict cases. Jennifer is a former Chair of the Family and Juvenile Law Section of the Bar Association of Metropolitan St. Louis and an active leader in local and state bar organizations.
Her professional recognition includes being named to The Best Lawyers in America® (2017–2025), Missouri Super Lawyers (2021–2024), and receiving a Women’s Justice Award from Missouri Lawyers Weekly. Jennifer also holds an AV Preeminent rating from Martindale-Hubbell. She regularly speaks on family law topics and has helped shape family court procedures through her service on multiple committees.
