Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Your Adult Children~ 2 min read

When parents decide to divorce, it’s natural to be concerned about the impact on younger children, but adult children are also deeply affected by this decision that their parents have made. Whether they are 25 or 50, your actions during your divorce can have an influence on your adult children’s emotional well-being and future relationships.

Here are 4 recommendations recognizing the impact on their lives and maintaining healthy connections during the process.

1. Acknowledge Your Divorce Has an Emotional Impact

Even though your adult children are no longer under your roof, your divorce will still disrupt their lives. They may feel torn between you and your spouse, particularly during family gatherings, holidays, or celebrations. Avoid burdening them with your frustrations about the divorce or expecting them to take sides. Instead, show empathy for their emotions and allow them space to process the changes.

2. Avoid Drawing Them into the Conflict

Some adult children become overly involved in their parents’ divorce, offering advice, taking sides, or even influencing decisions. While their intentions may stem from love and loyalty, this level of involvement can strain relationships and escalate tensions. Set boundaries early and keep your adult children from becoming overly entangled in the process. This allows you to focus on resolving matters constructively with your spouse.

3. Keep the Focus on Collaboration

The Mediation process or Collaborative Divorce will help reduce the negative effects on adult children. These divorce processes emphasize respectful communication and reduce animosity, which benefits everyone.  Even if your children don’t have a formal role in your divorce process, how you and your spouse interact will shape their experience of your divorce. Choose solutions that promote harmony rather than conflict.

4. Maintain Healthy Relationships

Divorce can leave your adult children questioning their place within the family. By fostering a cooperative dynamic with your former spouse, you create an environment where your children feel comfortable in maintaining relationships with both of their parents. Avoid airing grievances about their other parent, especially during shared family events or discussions.

Contact Family Ally

Divorce doesn’t just affect you and your spouse—it leaves a lasting impression on your entire family. At Family Ally, we understand the importance of protecting those relationships, even during challenging times. Our team is here to help you choose a peaceful, collaborative approach that respects everyone’s needs. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation and find out how Mediation or Collaborative Divorce can guide you toward a healthier future for your family. Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.