7 Things to Know About Divorce in Missouri~ 4 min read

Divorce litigation in Missouri is expensive, stressful, and unpredictable. If you want more control, privacy, and peace of mind, consider an amicable divorce through Mediation or a Collaborative Divorce.

Many people start the divorce process hoping the court will sort everything out in a fair way. But once you are in the system, it can feel like you have lost control. Court schedules move slowly, legal fees add up quickly, and you may end up with decisions that do not reflect your families’ values or goals. Before you move forward, it helps to understand a few key things about how divorce works in Missouri.

1. Litigation Does Not Guarantee a Win

No matter how strong your case seems, you are probably not going to walk away from trial feeling like you won. Missouri divorce cases involve custody, property, debts, support, and more. Even in the best-case scenario, you will not receive a judgment for many months and there will be parts of the ruling that leave you unhappy. Judges almost always get something wrong, even if it is just a typo. After trial, it is common to file motions to correct issues or even prepare for an appeal. What feels like a resolution is often just the start of more paperwork, delays, and uncertainty.

2. Divorce Through the Court Can Take a Long Time

Litigated divorces do not move quickly. It can take one to three years or longer to get through the process. You will not get a ruling on the day of trial. The judgment comes later, sometimes much later. In the meantime, you are bound by court schedules, deadlines, and rules. You lose the ability to make certain decisions without approval, and you may feel like the court is running your life.

3. The Court Controls the Process, Not You

During litigation, your options are limited. The judge can only make decisions allowed by law. That means creative solutions about property, parenting time, support, or debt repayment are off the table. On the other hand, if you work together to resolve your case in an amicable manner, such as the collaborative or mediated process, you have more freedom to build agreements that actually fit your situation. Even something as personal as what happens to a family pet cannot be customized in court, as judges treat pets like property.

4. Litigation Is Public and Expensive

Courtrooms are open to the public. So are the documents filed in your case. That means friends, coworkers, or anyone else can sit in and watch or look up your records. On top of that, litigation can be incredibly expensive. You might spend anywhere from $20,000 to $100,000 or more—just for one side. Add in expert fees, and the numbers climb fast. In most cases, the judge will not make your spouse pay your fees, even if you win some points at trial.

5. You Are Under Stress the Entire Time

While your case is pending, the stress does not let up. You may be asked to submit financial paperwork more than once. If you want to buy property, take a vacation, or even spend a little extra, expect to be questioned by your spouse’s attorney or the court. You might not be able to take certain actions at all without consent. This level of scrutiny continues throughout the case. It is emotionally exhausting, and the preparation for trial only adds more pressure.

6. Things Do Not End on the Day of Divorce

Even after your divorce is granted, things are rarely done. Property division often takes additional paperwork and time. If the case was not settled peacefully, expect it to take even longer to wrap up all the loose ends. The final court date is not the finish line, it is more like a checkpoint.

7. Choosing Collaborative Divorce or Mediation Keeps You in Control

When you choose Collaborative Divorce or Mediation instead of going to court, you take a more cooperative path. In a Collaborative Divorce, each of you has your own attorney, but you all commit to resolving the case outside of court with support from a team that may include financial or mental health professionals. In Mediation, a neutral professional helps both you and your spouse work through the issues and reach agreements together.

These processes give you more control over the outcome. You are not limited to what a judge is allowed to decide. You can make creative choices about parenting time, property division, support, and even how to handle debt. You also avoid the stress and cost of trial. Most people who resolve their divorce this way find that they are more satisfied with the results and in a better place financially and emotionally when it is over.

Contact Family Ally

At Family Ally, we help you avoid the cost, stress, and delays of court. If you are ready to move forward with less conflict and more control, talk to us about whether Mediation or Collaborative Divorce is right for you. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.