What Does Healthy Co-Parenting Look Like After a Divorce?~ 2 min read

Healthy co-parenting means respecting your child’s other parent, focusing on solutions instead of conflict, keeping your attention on what lies ahead for your children, and always putting their needs first.

Respect and Communication

Even if you no longer get along with your former spouse, healthy co-parenting means treating them with respect. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends or spend extra time together, but it does mean speaking politely, avoiding name-calling, and keeping conversations focused on the children. Many parents find it helpful to treat communication with a co-parent like a business exchange. Keep it short, courteous, and focused on the subject at hand. Using email or text can also reduce tension if in-person conversations are difficult.

Keeping Children Out of Conflict

Children should never be placed in the middle of disputes. That means not asking them to deliver messages, not criticizing the other parent in front of them, and not forcing them to “pick sides.” When children feel caught in the middle, they often experience stress, anxiety, or guilt. Healthy co-parenting means creating an environment where your kids feel free to love both parents without added pressure.

Focus on the Future

Arguments about the past often prevent families from moving forward. Healthy co-parents make decisions by looking at what will work best for their children now and in the future. That may mean adjusting schedules when needed, being flexible about school events, or finding solutions instead of re-starting old arguments. Shifting your focus to problem-solving makes it easier to cooperate, even when you don’t always agree.

Teaching by Example

Children learn how to handle conflict by watching their parents. If they see you communicate respectfully with your co-parent, they are more likely to learn patience and understanding in their own relationships. Even simple gestures such as saying hello at a school concert or sitting calmly near each other at a game show your children how to treat people with dignity, even during difficult times.

Putting Your Children First

At the heart of healthy co-parenting is one guiding principle: your children’s needs come first. Before sending a message, making a decision, or responding to frustration, ask yourself how your words and actions will affect your child. This habit helps keep the focus on their well-being instead of the conflict between adults.

Contact Family Ally

Healthy co-parenting takes effort, but it can make a world of difference in your children’s lives. At Family Ally, we work with parents who want to move forward in a positive way and build a stronger foundation for their family after divorce. Contact Jennifer Piper at 314-449-9800 to schedule a consultation and learn how we can support you.

Family Ally is located at 130 S. Bemiston Ave., Suite 608, St. Louis, MO 63105.