Divorce

The hardest stage of divorce is usually the decision to end the marriage and choose the divorce process you will use. While the final stage can bring strong emotions, most people struggle most with the initial decision and the choice of a process. The Decision to Divorce When you think about divorce, you may picture court dates or dividing property. In reality, the hardest stage often comes much earlier and begins with making that choice. The decision can affect your children, extended family, finances, employment, and where you live. It may change daily routines, parenting schedules, and long-term plans, which is why it feels so significant. For that reason, it should not be made in the heat of the moment. During an argument, the word…

A prenuptial agreement is not about planning for divorce. It is about planning for your marriage. When done thoughtfully and collaboratively, a prenup creates a space before your marriage for honest conversations about money, family, expectations, and long-term goals that can strengthen your relationship from the start. Prenups Are Really About Marriage Planning Many people hear the word prenup and immediately think about divorce. In reality, a prenuptial agreement is a tool for marriage planning. It gives you and your partner a structured way to talk about important topics before you get married, when emotions are steady and communication is easier. Rather than leaving these potential issues to be sorted out later during conflict, a prenuptial conversation allows you to talk through them early. Planning…

Divorce brings many decisions, big and small. How those problems are handled can shape your costs, your stress level, and your family’s future. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce focus on working through issues together, step by step, while litigation centers on positions and court orders. How Problems Are Handled in Litigation In a traditional court case, problem solving revolves around your position on the issues. You state what you want, the other person pushes back, and lawyers file motions. Disputes play out in public courtrooms, and the judge makes decisions for your family. This process feels combative. You may have little control over outcomes, even on issues that affect your daily life. Small disagreements become expensive quickly. Something as basic as verifying income might require subpoenas…

When your spouse tries to provoke you during divorce, preparation and taking time before responding can make a difference. By slowing your response, staying future focused, and avoiding emotional reactions, you protect yourself, your children, and the progress of your case. Why Conflict Feels So Intense During Divorce During divorce, emotions tend to sit close to the surface. Stress, frustration, and fatigue make it easier for a single comment to trigger a strong reaction. Your spouse knows your history and understands which buttons to push, sometimes intentionally and sometimes without thinking. When this happens, reactions often come before thoughtful responses. That is why arguments can escalate quickly and leave you regretting what was said or written. Recognizing that provocation is likely helps you prepare instead…

Putting your children first during divorce supports their emotional and mental health and helps them build healthier relationships later in life. A cooperative process, such as Collaborative Divorce, allows parents to focus on their children’s real needs rather than conflict. Why Putting Children First Matters Children are deeply affected by how divorce unfolds. Ongoing conflict places them in a constant state of stress, which can interfere with healthy emotional and mental development. That stress does not simply disappear once the divorce is final. In some cases, it can lead to lasting challenges that follow children into adulthood. Parents want their children to grow into healthy, well-adjusted adults, and how you handle divorce plays a role in that development. Putting children first means keeping them out…

Many marriages break down because communication slowly fades or never fully develops in the first place. When couples stop sharing information, expectations, and concerns about money, children, and decision making, problems tend to grow beneath the surface until they become impossible to ignore. Communication Is Often the Root Issue The most common reason marriages fail is lack of communication. This does not only mean arguments or raised voices. It often means information is not shared at all. Conversations about finances, parenting, expectations, and long-term plans either never happen or stop happening over time. When communication breaks down, misunderstandings follow. One spouse may feel shut out of financial decisions. Another may not know where accounts are held or how debts are managed. What may appear to…

Divorce does not have to destroy your finances, your mental health, or your family relationships. Even when emotions run high, there are ways to resolve issues privately, fairly, and with less conflict through options like Mediation and Collaborative Divorce. Many people enter divorce believing it will be a long, exhausting fight that leaves lasting damage behind. That belief alone can shape how the process unfolds. In reality, there are important truths about divorce that often go unspoken. Understanding them early can help you make decisions that protect your finances, your family, and your well-being. 1) Divorce Does Not Have to Be a Battle One of the biggest surprises people learn too late is that divorce does not have to feel like a war. Even when…

Experts can be helpful in Mediation when you and your spouse need support understanding the value of assets or need guidance on financial, property, or practical issues. Bringing in experts during Mediation is often faster and far less expensive than relying on the court to resolve the same questions. Why Experts Can Be Helpful During Mediation Mediation works best when you have clear information. When a decision involves valuations, financial questions, or specialized knowledge, an expert can help you and your spouse understand the situation more fully. This makes your discussions easier and helps you explore options instead of getting stuck on uncertainty. A common example is getting a home appraisal. Your house is often one of the largest assets you share. If you and…

If Mediation or Collaborative Divorce does not lead to an agreement, your case moves into the court system. A judge may require more Mediation, issue temporary orders, and ultimately make decisions for your family. You lose control over the outcome, your case becomes public, and the process becomes more expensive. When Mediation or Collaboration Does Not Lead to a Full Agreement Mediation and Collaborative Divorce are highly successful for most families, but there are times when they do not result in a full agreement. This may happen because emotions are running high, one spouse refuses to participate, or progress stalls for reasons outside of your control. When this occurs, your case shifts from private discussions to the formal court system. What It Means to Enter…

Avoiding court during your divorce will save money because you reduce attorney time, avoid court-driven deadlines, and limit the conflict. Mediation and Collaborative Divorce keep your divorce discussions focused on solutions instead of arguments, which lowers the overall cost and helps you reach agreements more efficiently. Why the Court Process Increases the Cost of a Divorce When you file for divorce in court, the process immediately becomes more expensive. Deadlines start running the moment documents are filed. Your attorney must prepare pleadings, respond to filings, and follow court requirements, even while you are still trying to settle your case. This creates a situation where you pay for both preparation and negotiation at the same time. Court filings also increase tension. When one side files something…