Collaborative Divorce

The #1 Reason People Get Divorced

The #1 Reason People Get Divorced

While many people assume that infidelity, emotional distance, or parenting disagreements are the primary causes of divorce, the truth is that money plays a much larger role. The number one reason people get divorced is money and more specifically, the lack of communication about it. Money and Miscommunication Go Hand in Hand Many couples don’t talk about money before they get married. They may not discuss their financial goals, spending habits, or long-term plans. After marriage, the topic often remains off-limits or becomes a source of conflict. One of you may want to save, while the other prefers to spend. Maybe one partner controls all the finances, leaving the other feeling powerless. These differences can lead to resentment, distrust, and ultimately, divorce. Different Money Values…

How Is Property Divided in a Divorce in Missouri?

How Is Property Divided in a Divorce in Missouri?

When going through a divorce in Missouri, understanding how property is divided can be essential for planning your future. Missouri follows an equitable distribution approach, which starts with a 50/50 split but can be adjusted based on several factors. Here’s what you need to know. Marital vs. Separate Property One of the first steps in dividing property is determining whether its marital or separate property. Marital property generally includes anything purchased or earned during the marriage, regardless of whose name is on the title or account. This includes: On the other hand, separate property typically includes assets owned before the marriage, inheritances, or gifts received solely by one spouse. How the Court Decides Property Distribution While the starting point is a 50/50 division, Missouri courts…

Avoiding the “F” Word (Fair) in Divorce

Avoiding the “F” Word (Fair) in Divorce

When you’re going through a divorce, it’s tempting to focus on what’s “fair.” But fair can mean something different to everyone and getting stuck on that idea can make the process harder for you and your family. What Does “Fair” Mean? If you ask kids, they’ll likely tell you that fair means equal, splitting everything right down the middle. But is that really the best solution for your situation? Not always. For some people, “fair” means everyone getting exactly the same. For others, it might mean dividing assets based on contributions to the marriage, needs, or what’s best for the entire family. Fair might even look like one person keeping the family home to keep the kids in their school district, while the other person…

Rebuilding After Divorce: Steps to Moving Forward with Your Life

Rebuilding After Divorce: Steps to Moving Forward with Your Life

Divorce marks the end of one chapter, but it’s also the beginning of a new one. It’s natural to feel uncertain about the path forward, but with the right steps, you can rediscover joy and purpose. Take Time for Self-Discovery After a divorce, it’s tempting to rush into a new relationship. However, taking time to reflect on who you are and who you want to become is essential. Spend time exploring new hobbies, setting personal goals, or even traveling solo. Use this period to rediscover your passions and build confidence in being on your own. Re-evaluate Your Friendships Divorce can shift the dynamics of your social circle. Some friends may naturally drift away, especially if they were closer to your former spouse. Others might not…

Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Your Adult Children

Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Your Adult Children

When parents decide to divorce, it’s natural to be concerned about the impact on younger children, but adult children are also deeply affected by this decision that their parents have made. Whether they are 25 or 50, your actions during your divorce can have an influence on your adult children’s emotional well-being and future relationships. Here are 4 recommendations recognizing the impact on their lives and maintaining healthy connections during the process. 1. Acknowledge Your Divorce Has an Emotional Impact Even though your adult children are no longer under your roof, your divorce will still disrupt their lives. They may feel torn between you and your spouse, particularly during family gatherings, holidays, or celebrations. Avoid burdening them with your frustrations about the divorce or expecting…

My Best Divorce Advice

My Best Divorce Advice

If you have been considering divorce, you have probably been asking people you know for their advice.  As a divorce professional, here is some of the best advice that I can offer and what I often tell my clients. How you approach your divorce can shape not only the outcome but also your ability to move forward. Below are practical steps that can help you to guide you through your divorce. 1. Treat Your Divorce Like a Business Deal Think of your divorce as a business deal. While emotions are a natural part of any divorce, letting your emotions control the process can lead to unnecessary conflict and higher costs. The mindset of your divorce as a business deal can help you make clearer decisions…

4 Financial Pitfalls to Avoid During Divorce

4 Financial Pitfalls to Avoid During Divorce

Divorce brings financial challenges. Challenges that can cost you not only money but add to your stress and how long it takes to resolve your case. However, there are some important financial pitfalls to avoid during your divorce that will help you to make good financial decisions. 1. Letting Emotions Guide Your Financial Decisions One of the biggest mistakes you can make during your divorce is to let your emotions take over when making financial choices. For example, you might feel attached to your house or a sentimental item, but a decision to keep these assets may not make financial sense. If maintaining the house strains your budget or you end up fighting over property with little value, it’s not worth it. Put your focus…

Why Fighting in Divorce is the Wrong Approach

Why Fighting in Divorce is the Wrong Approach

It’s natural to feel frustrated during a divorce but turning it into a fight can lead to more challenges down the road. Disagreements and tensions are part of the process, but escalating them into a battle can waste time, money, and energy. Rather than focusing on fighting, it’s more productive to find ways to resolve issues calmly and fairly. This approach not only helps you move forward more quickly but also creates a better environment for you and your family. It Drains Your Resources Divorce litigation is expensive. The longer you fight in court, the more money you’ll spend on lawyers, court fees, and other costs. This money could be better spent on things that truly matter, like your children’s education, your future retirement, or…

Do I Need a Lawyer for Mediation?

Do I Need a Lawyer for Mediation?

Mediation is designed to be a less adversarial process than going to court in a divorce, and many people wonder if involving a lawyer is necessary. While it’s not required, having legal guidance will benefit you during the process. Why You Should Consider a Lawyer Although mediation encourages you to reach a mutual agreement, your lawyer can make sure that you have a full understanding of your legal rights. A mediator is neutral and can explain the law, but they cannot give you specific legal advice. Without legal advice, you may agree to something that doesn’t serve your best interests or leaves you unprotected in the future. A lawyer can help you: Should Your Lawyer Attend the Mediation? It’s not mandatory for your lawyer to…

Do's and don'ts

Do’s and Don’ts on Communicating with Your Mediator

Mediation is a great way to settle family disputes, but how you communicate with your mediator plays a big role in the process. Here are some simple do’s and don’ts to help you to work through your mediation successfully. Do’s: Effective Ways to Communicate Don’ts: What to Avoid Conclusion Effective communication with your mediator is one of the keys to a successful Mediation process. By following these guidelines, you help to reach an agreement that is in the best interest of you, your spouse and your family.  By keeping your communication professional, focused, and timely, you can ensure that the mediation process will be as smooth and constructive as possible. Contact Family Ally At Family Ally, we’re dedicated to helping families navigate disputes with expert…